Africans with Aids are so cool

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I love African children dying of Aids. I love their eyes bulging out of their skulls and staring back at me, so helpless making them look cute like skinny little puppies. I have to say that the flies buzzing around their bodies is a bit distasteful but I look past that. Aids in Africa is the best ever and makes all the others look like shit. Compare famine + drought + AIDS with any other of your causes and see who wins. Cancer? Boring. Torture? That’s really boring and complicated but I do like the Amnesty logo a lot and I have it on a T-Shirt somewhere. The homeless are sooooo mid-nineties and you can see them anywhere. A few years ago yes, I was really into the homeless thing and heroin addicts but now its so passé and dirty. Plus I have to walk round them as they scrounge for money, I don’t want to see these people all in my face for fucks sake. Someone told me the other day that animal cruelty is coming back in but I just can’t see it and I’m not throwing away another mink coat again I can tell you; what else goes with diamonds from Sierra Leone? Sierra Leone is a shop right?

The Armani of all causes is Aids in Africa and it’s the best lifestyle choice out there by a mile. It has everything PLUS great weather, what more do you need? I am really serious about it and Bono is so great in trying to educate you thick idiots about how bad it is. And it is bad I suppose. I just wish there were more people like Bono in the world so we wouldn’t have bad things like Aids and instead we could have one big party and really understand each other. I think the coolest thing he has done is this American Express Red card thing. If I spend £1000 then American Express will give, yes give, £3 of that money to make aids in Africa stop. Bono did that. He did the same with Gap. Oh yes, buy a special red T-Shirt made in China or somewhere for £18 and Gap will give Aids people £1 of that for nothing. Genius.

Seems to me that Bono has got the big businesses shaking in their boots and now they are doing something for other people for once instead of using fads and gimmicks to rack up even more sales that further compound the massive gulf between rich and poor and create an imbalance so huge that in 2006 there are who cannot even feed themselves whilst some spend millions a day on shoes, perfume, jewellery and cars. I might fly to Africa, wherever it is, and have a look for myself. I may even book my flight using my American Express Red card – that is called payback! It’s supposed to be great there with really nice hotels that are far from the shanty towns and really secure thank god – I don’t want to catch anything. I wouldn’t mind meeting one of those jolly tribe people though like in the adverts – I could hook up after a club or something when I’m really chilled and watch the sun rise with one. Maybe not though, might be dangerous.

I hope that whoever reads this will apply for an American Express card and do their bit for the world – get out there and buy, buy, buy to save all Africans from Aids. Do it for Bono.

2 Responses to “Africans with Aids are so cool”

  1. raymondo says:

    This entry was obviously written by somebody with the intelligence (but not the money) of Paris Hilton. It is truly vapid.

  2. jingjok says:

    Hi Bono!

    Nice reference point there Raymondo – Paris Hilton? Need I say anymore about your cultural influences? Make a point or bore off