Stanfords Finest

Men eh? It’s all sex, sex, sex. As a man I sometimes feel ashamed of my gender and its constant preoccupation with chasing women and looking at dirty pictures. Speaking of pornography it is my considered opinion that the whole thing is distasteful in the extreme with its sick portrayal of the fairer sex and it must not be allowed anymore. I agree 100% with those brave women waging a war on shops that stock filthy magazines and I hope that when my children are born there will be no dirty books or videos and it can only be a matter of time until Bono does something about this. Since moving to Hong Kong I have found, to my absolute horror, that there is even pornography in this city and words cannot describe my disappointment. I even heard this story about this guy who subscribed to one of three adult channels that are available on cable here. I know its sick so please stop reading now if you are of a nervous disposition.

The story goes like this. Apparently late one night this man comes back home after having a few drinks and out of curiosity, and because it only costs about 3 of your English pounds, he manages to subscribe to one these adult channels. I understand how low this man must seem and if it happened to me I would feel a great shame. Anyway this person, living on his own as he is for a few days, has ample opportunity to watch this seedy channel in its full disgusting depravity. I feel sick just reciting this to you. It turns out that this man has subscribed to a Japanese only adult channel and by Christ he was in for a shock.

The first viewing really was an eye opener and I’ve been told that within the first few minutes it was clear that this was quite a departure from the Ben Dover-esque school of blue movie. I was also told that men and lady parts are pixelated but jism isn’t which a strange way of looking at censorship. I was also told that that you never know what is coming next, quite literally, and that tossing salad is the norm in Japanese adult films and that the ladies take real pride in looking up a chaps bung hole. There is also some thing he said about weird kissing where the woman just simply sticks out her tongue and the chap will just suck it for a good five minutes. It has been suggested that the women also are portrayed as victims as they writhe in a manner that suggests they are not enjoying themselves and they are being humiliated and invaded. I’ve heard tell of the scenes in these films being very hit and miss and that they do not follow the same foreplay/humping/money shot route that the European and American films do and, for example, one scene was just an old guy using the full slection of ‘bedroom toys’ on a some hapless young woman who was fully dressed. I hear the films are not cut to sexy music and that the debacle is conducted in near silence with scenes lasting for yonks. To say that these disgusting films are bizarre is an understatement and I was told that that one scene culminated with chap doing a sort of split-legged headstand whilst simultaneously having his salad tossed and being pulled off with the end result that he copped the money shot in his own face.

I hope I haven’t upset any of you too much and that we can all work together to ban this filth before it hurts any more of our women and children. This practice must stop now and together we can end this I’m sure. I’ll do my bit by giving the local authorities as much information about the man in this story before he gets out of control. By the way if you don’t know what a pixelated cunt looks like then see above.

This entry was posted on Sunday, October 8th, 2006 at 4:05 pm and is filed under blah blah blah. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.