Archive for the ‘blah blah blah’ Category

You say Shemagh and I say Keffiyeh

Saturday, December 13th, 2008

keffiyeh
Whats your fucking problem eh? Mentioning to some people that I wanted to get one of the scarves that are synonymous with the Middle East drew wails of derision. I have been called an idiot, a student and a hippy. Why? What’s the beef chief? I can go to China and buy a Chinese silk garment and THAT’S OK. An Arab can go to London and buy a pair of Wellington boots and THAT’S OK. An American can go to Africa and buy, er, some beads and THAT’S OK but a brit cannot go to the Middle East and buy a Shemagh/Keffiyeh because THAT’S NOT OK. Why? I want one. Its part of the culture, its practical, it looks better than some old shit out of GAP its got soul and its local product so why is everyone giving me a hard time? Why am I worried to wear one for fear of being ridiculed by some Levi’s wearing idiot? Is it political? Has the Keffiyeh been demonised to such an extent and IF so then thats pretty stupid because it makes it even more desirable to wear. If Arabs are ok with me wearing it (I asked some) then the rest of you living elsewhere can really stick your opinions in your hole.

Under Pressure

Saturday, December 13th, 2008

This is very intersting, in fact groundbreaking. Chinese media never, ever, reports anything that goes against the wishes of the Communist Party. As you know the media is heavily censored and anyone that dared to report anything other than good news regarding China would be in serious shit. This is why the reporting of the abuse of protestors in Beijing in the a newspaper is nothing less than remarkable. This is rebellion. When you speak to normal Chinese they all know the deal, they all know how currupt and abusive the party is but they are rendered mute and frustrated due to the many punitive consequences that outwardly critical behaviour can lead to. The Chinese are not stupid but they have not yet the will to rise up and change such is the iron grip but things are changing. Frustration is slowly turning to rage and when that boils over the shit will hit the fan. China is not over yet. What we see now is not how it is going to stay and increasingly there seems to be a struggle for the heart of China and I believe we will witness more outward protests in time to come. The pressure cooker is about to explode.

Protected: Death Of A Salesman

Tuesday, December 2nd, 2008

This post is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:


weird

Wednesday, November 5th, 2008

crazy day yesterday. Not one big but lots of little weird things. Firstly, my Chinese teacher was weird. She looked sad and tired and I feel hr business is not going well. Its hard enough being self-employed as a Mandarin teacher but I think its hard when she has so few students. Anyway I gamely stick with her but I don’t think she will last long. I arranged to meet a friend for dinner after my lesson in the evening after work. We met outside my building and just as we greeted there was a yell followed by four Chinese chavs running off at high speed. This was weird because a) one of the four looked western and b) it was a mugging! In China. Very, very unusual in the center of Shanghai.

(more…)

Back To The Future

Wednesday, November 5th, 2008

Picture the scene. A spotty teenage boy is sitting in his bedroom in Stanford-Le-Hope playing records. His adolescent mind already captured by the magic of Hip Hop he hungrily devourers any slab of vinyl he can get his hands on. These are the days before MP3′s so every piece of music that he heard was purchased with either pocket money or the daily wage of a Saturday job. It averages out at one or two records a week and during the late 80′s it was hard to keep up with every release such was the lack of money and sheer quanity of classic records being released. Being as this exotic, vivid and captivating music was made on the other side of the world and not yet part of mainstream consciousness everything had to be either imported from America or you had to try and find a UK licensed copy tucked away in some obscure section of the record shop. These were the days when Our Price and HMV had tiny sections marked Rap waaaaaaaaaay before the ‘Urban’ section took up half the record shop like today. One UK label, Gee Street, used to licence various records by Idlers Records of New York who, among other artists, had the Jungle Brothers on its roster. What this meant is that record shops had no need to import the original US release and instead Gee Street released a UK version however they wanted and their own bastard way.

(more…)

The Birth Of Cool

Monday, November 3rd, 2008

Not often I have to rush home to update my blog so make the most of it. I get a cab to and from work every day. The morning taxi I sit there mute and pissed of as I driven to impending death but the cab I catch home in the evening is a different story with me trying to engage the hapless driver into some kind of conversation. I always view any contact with the locals as a free Chinese lesson so I try and interact as much as possible. This evening I caught a cab home and had the pleasure of it being driven by a very jolly chap he laughed loudly and spat huge blobs of phlegm out the window. We had a chat about where I am from and how China owns all of Americas money and how much (surprise surprise) he hates the Japanese. The usual things that most working class Chinese people like to talk about. I asked him if he knew any English and he said no. Reluctantly he uttered a ‘hello’ and a ‘goodbye’ and that was it. As we approached my gated compound he said one other thing in perfect English ”We are studying for the revolution” which is, for whatever reason, perhaps the coolest thing I have ever heard. We both laughed as he said it but it struck me how close I am to those that 30 years ago were in a different place to where they may be now. China is cool, there is no doubt, but you have to dig for this cool shit.You won’t find the cool stuff by looking at it.

2 4 6 8 Motorway

Friday, October 31st, 2008

drove from my home in Lijiazui to WuXi for a Grand Opening today. Crazy scenes ensured. Basically this was like an Ideal Homes Show but in WuXi and with hundreds of Chinese developers all trying to get the average Chinese punter to buy some poorly built room for big bucks. We had a confrence where I read a pre-arranged script in front of cameras and an audience. I was interviewed for WuXi TV and had to answer some pre-arranged questions and then home. I was the only ‘westener’ at this show but I am so Chinese now I didn’t bat an eyelid. I feel at home surrounded by Chinese people and never feel awkward. I am assimilated. I do enjoy the long motorways of China – dull,grey, lifeless and punctuated with advertisement hoardings displaying new industrial parks. The are toll booths every now and then but on the whole the roads stretch out for ever and ever and you get an idea how vast this country is. Back home we ordered pizza and the delivery due had one of those faces that looked a thousand years old. Generations and generations of farmer now reduced to delivering fucking pizza.

Iceland 1 The Suckers 0

Monday, October 13th, 2008

I’m gutted. I should have seen this coming man. This is all a hex but brilliantly done. Just as I was warming up to dance on the graves of the parasitic money men they have to pull it out the bag. This time last week we were watching the fall of Babylon and its towers of paper money but today a unified world pumps billions into markets that should have gone to the wall. Let them crash and burn. Let those that work and have tangible results prosper in an environment where at last those that bullshit and produce nothing apart from more debt and pain to the poor of this world eat dirt. It was looking great but no, The Man steps in. Fuck you Iceland.

Skype is censored in China shocker

Friday, October 3rd, 2008

very interesting if somewhat unsurprising report generated by citizenlab. basically Skype is riddled with spyware that filter naughty words out and instead puts the naughty words on a server so that The Man can monitor your every move homeboy. Well I never. China? Censorship? I guess the surprising thing is the depths that they will go to to monitor your words. Major Findings of this report are as follows:

• The full text chat messages of TOM-Skype users, along with Skype users who have communicated with TOM-Skype users, are regularly scanned for sensitive keywords, and if present, the resulting data are uploaded and stored on servers in China.
• These text messages, along with millions of records containing personal information, are stored on insecure publicly-accessible web servers together with the encryption key required to
decrypt the data.
• The captured messages contain specific keywords relating to sensitive political topics
• Our analysis suggests that the surveillance is not solely keyword-driven. Many of the captured messages contain words that are too common for extensive logging, suggesting that there may be criteria, such as specific usernames, that determine whether messages are
captured by the system.

The only surprise is that they were so sloppy – in the west we do this stuff as well but its cleverer than this crude method. If anyone wants to know anything about you be you Chinese or British or American then they already do. Skype and China are more crude but not less sinister.

Marks and Sparks

Friday, October 3rd, 2008

The opening day of Marks and Spencer’s new store in Shanghai was a thing of great beauty. Four floors full sweating laowai trying on ill-fitting slacks and flowery blouses. The fourth floor was the food floor and its with joy that I can report that it was like being back in London. A bit. No fresh food obv but nice to get some decent tea and pasta sauces from home and much cheaper than the imported food shop mafia that we usually go to. Afterwards a meal and as usual our son is the star of the show. There we literally four serving staff playing with him for the duration of our meal not because they had to but because they wanted to. When we moved here we were uncomfortable with this but after a while you get in a groove with it – its the culture.