Ta Ta Spain



Spain France. Good game but yet again Fat Clive Tyldesley ruined the match with his terrible verbal diarrhoea. “Yeah…it’s gone in boss” chuckled Fat Clive as a slow motion clip showing the French coach Domenech celebrating his teams second goal was being played. As the clock ticked down Fat Clive let us all know there was ten minutes left to play. And then there was a pause. And then he said “tense minutes” like it was a rhyme and there was some link or humour in this nonsense word play. Fat Clive does like a player getting hit in the family jewels and nothing makes his day more than trotting out the same old clichés when this happens;”…well he hasn’t been hit the head that’s for sure…” “ha ha ha…he’ll be alright…” ITV must think that Fat Clive cannot ruin our enjoyment of the game alone so they’ve given him David “likes a pro” Pleat as a sidekick affording some banter between these two vacuous nonces. An example of their work was so cringe-worthy my teeth feel out. As the second half started this:


Fat Clive: “tension rising”

David Pleat: “pace quickening”

Fat Clive: “exciting game”


Actual football highlights of the match was Vieira telling the odious Luis Aragones to shut it, Raul still being played despite being the worst Spanish player ever, Zidane scoring the third goal and Henry being shown to be the dirty cheat that he so palpably is by diving and face clutching and getting Puyol booked. Mind you Henry did get cunted off in the studio by El Tel and Ruud so it’s all good. In fact, the smug Spaniards being beaten was the only real highlight anyone needed to enjoy this game.

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