Fake Handbags


The Americans have just called me offering me a job. Better company than my current Cantonese Handbag Factory employer. Let me explain, a few months ago my current employers started acting the fool after I had stamped my authority too hard on the slack jawed work force. I was fresh from London and had no idea how the Cantonese did things, indeed how poor they were at making handbags. In Europe we have a rare and much sought after commodity called CREATIVE THINKING where we make handbags from scratch. In fact, we invent the CONCEPT of handbags and then refine the use and consider things such as the quality of manufacture, the image it projects, the form and the function and WHY does it need to exist in the first place. All good Handbag manufacturers should be able to answer any constructive criticisms of their handbag design as a test to the durability and integrity of the creation. I started this dialogue when I on my first day as it’s par for the course in Londres but it didn’t go down a storm here simply because my company has NO IDEA why they make handbags THEY JUST DO. And the Handbags my company churns out are made the way they are because they just COPY COPY COPY successful handbags. That’s all they, and now I, do all day, knock out imitation handbags. My colleagues remonstrate ” but this is a classical style handbag” or ” this is an Art Deco” handbag without knowing ANYTHING about classical traditions or the Art Deco movement. What is classical? Well there are all these funny looking columns and some statues of David. But why have a column and why does it look like that? They haven’t a clue. My co-workers brains don’t go further than the superficial layer. Questioning their designs brings forth giggles and/or embarrassment.

So my attempts to promote creative thinking irritated/embarrassed/annoyed my colleagues when they just wanted to sit around knocking out fake Fendi. There began a whispering campaign and, hey presto, I was on the ropes with my boss. I managed to hang on in there purely because I was right of course, but it didn’t make for a happy ship and so I was marked for death. I wanted out and I began looking, and was offered another job with a huge international and world renowned Handbag manufacturer. An American company who would understand the principles I was trying to implement. But for some reason, reasons which escape me now, I decided to stay although I do plan to go to the Americans at some point as 1) its good for the cv 2) they have excellent Handbag projects and 3) they have offices in China, my next stop. To cut a long story short I had another run in on a handbag project last week and I freaked out and called the Americans who, seeing the current brain drain in Hong Kong, welcomed me with open arms. However, when I calmed down, I realised I should stay where I am because I am on a lot of money. So I’m staying but I haven’t told the Americans and now we start the dance like rutting stags where I have to say, ‘yes, but not now’ for the second time in six months, pissing them off even further. Next time when I call them they’ll probably put the phone down on me. I don’t blame them.

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