Stanfords Finest

Seeing as its Wimbeldon and there is tennis in the air I thought I’d go on about Match Point, the new filum from Woody Allen. Or Dad as he is known to his adopted daughter that he married. Nice. Match Point features the kind of “brits” a middle aged American imagines the upper echelons of British society consists of. How super. The story is based around the idea of a tennis coach meeting and marrying into a well-to-do family and the subsequent choices our hero has to make when he realises marrying for money rather than love is not wise. The film rips along at a fair old pace and it does have its fair share of braying hooray Henrys being all posh and that so there’s unintentional laughs to be had. I have to say I enjoyed da movie and, like Layer Cake, Match Point is a good London film. I did find the story began to implode twords the end but thankfully it doesn’t go on too long so its not drawn out torture. So to summerise I would say there are worse ways to waste an hour and a half and although the conclusion is unsatisfactory you don’t feel dirty and used at the end. New balls please. 7/10

16 blocks. 16 blocks. Where to begin? Fist of all I can recommend this with a capital R. The film is built around the story of Bruce “hard-drinking” Willis transporting a criminal, who is black natch, 16 blocks for his court appearance. But beneath this simple concept there are sub-plots and twists and the film quickly transforms into an emotional rollercoaster ride. This isn’t Die Hard. Willis plays yet another flawed cop with a heart of gold but it’s the co-star makes this film. Mighty Mos Def. If you’re hip-to-the-groove like me then you’ll know Mos emerged on the rap-de-rap scene over a decade ago spitting rhymes that were like firewater. Little did we know then that the cat was a closet luvvie. He dropped a few amazing, if not revolutionary singles and one very good album. Then we waited for years for the next recording. This was the New Danger LP. It was shockingly bad. Looking back he must have had his mind on other things such as the silver screen. So, now he is an actor and in 16 blocks he was great. No, he didn’t go the LL Cool J/Ice T “hip hop cop jiggaboo” route. No sir, Mos took the Forrest Gump road instead which takes some courage in light of the machismo running through hip hop over the last few years. The chemistry between Willis and Mos was clear to see and the ending almost had me in tears. It was beautiful. So I hope Mos, the thinking mans MC, now picks his future roles with care and becomes an example to all those fiddy wannabes that you can have brains and art and be respected. 16 Blocks is a great filum most definitely. 9/10.

So there I was, being forced to watch Harrison Fords new film Firewall. Oh dear oh dear. America comes to terms with the horrors of interweb banking. So bored was I that I passed the time counting the number of facial expressions Harrison Ford acted out in his role as uber Neo-Con Jack something-or-other. The total? One. I can only assume he has now based his entire repertoire on the look an Alzheimer’s sufferer has when they suddenly realise they are married with children. Ford should bow out now before he totally ruins his legacy. I dread to think what Raiders of the Lost Ark 4 will be like and I hope the old man isn’t fighting and jumping around because on this form it will be like watching disabled acrobats in a Victorian circus. Ford is a hero of mine but he is sullying his reputation with awful “thrillers” like Firewall. Being Americans, the villain of the piece was English of course. All villains in US films are English these days for some reason. You’d hope after our Prime Minister sold out the entire United Kingdom to fight an illegal and unjust war for George Bush we’d get cut a bit of slack. Not a bit of it. Thanks America.

So, in summary, do not bother with this thriller-by-numbers because the only potential interest in the film, Ford, is too old to know what day it is let alone what he can do to rescue this tosh. 2/10.