Archive for April, 2007

Review: Tenchu Dark Secret DS

Wednesday, April 18th, 2007


As a poor student I once was marooned in Chester for a summer. This being the grim naaarth I had nowt to do but wander the streets entertaining myself with only a black and white Gameboy for company. I would go into the second hand shops and buy random carts in the hope that one would throw up some kind of classic gaming action. Alas, it wasn’t to be and all were complete and utter rubbish. As the Gameboy was almost an obsolete format at this time there were many carts to choose from and I placed myself in the shoes of somebody who had say 30 quid to spend on one game and how they would view their purchase. When I get the same game for pounds then I have a different perspective and I can more or less throw the thing away when I discovered how bad it was whereas if you save all month for the same title you stick with it in the hope it’ll get better. Tenchu: Dark Secret on the DS is one of these games. I am sure there are people that have bought this (for a reputed $50 in the US) and are persevering with it hoping it will get better but they would be kidding themselves. I love a stealth-em-up like the next man and have always had a yearning to play this on the PS but I never got round to it so I was pleased when it arrived on the DS. The PSP version looks very good indeed (more-or-less a straight port I think) so I was hoping for good things. (more…)

If I could turn back time

Tuesday, April 17th, 2007

cher innit

So one of the upsides for you, my fans, to this lack of work on my ”plate” is that I can regale you with various insights into my amazing life. As insights go this one is a real cracker so sit down, get out the popcorn and listen to my views on…learning Mandarin!



Monday, April 16th, 2007


After such a long time being run by the bastard English you would’ve reckoned on our Hong Kong residents being a little more sophisticated than they are so obviously not. A Cantonese colleague of mine tells the story of flights to China from Hong Kong where your normal reserved Cantonese person will leave Hong Kong and, en route, turn into rabid barbarian once they touch down in the ”motherland”. This is where the the Cantonese are heading and most of my colleagues,Cantonese, are going the same way. When I was based in the central areas the staff were more open but now we’ve moved to this hinterland they have morphed into every other bemused ”man-in-the-street” and walk past in a fearful, pensive fashion because that’s how every one else acts ergo they must do the same. Safety in numbers DO NOT STAND OUT is the aim of the game for these dudes. Me? I stand out like a spare prick at a wedding which gives them the jitters so they avoid me like the plague. (more…)

Common as muck

Friday, April 13th, 2007

no sell out

You really know that a artist, or should I say, an entire musical legacy is dead when your favourite ”underground” rapper makes a record with Lilly fucking Allen. How many times are we prepared to slap and kick this poor drunk hoe that used to be called hip hop but now is only known as simply Pop? Lilly Allen. Common. Wouldn’t believe it if it hadn’t come from the bearded horses mouth.



Thursday, April 12th, 2007


So what’s a G to do? Seven months on and despite various promises I now find myself back to square one - bored with nothing to do. Literally nothing to do. No work. I am just a token honkey being paid handsomely for doing very little. I honestly don’t believe this is a cynical move on their part but rather a sign of chronic disorganisation plus a smattering of racism in so far that colleagues between my big boss and the poor workers, in other words middle-management, are so inept that they fear somebody,black white or Chinese, that knows what they are doing to such an extent that it makes them look bad. That, plus the fact the Chinese love a honky so immediately my Cantonese colleagues are already one-nil down before kick-off. (more…)

The Best Game Ever Made is…

Wednesday, April 11th, 2007

Jap Wars

What is the best game in the world ever? Any fule will have a story to tell but I tell thee this and you should believe me when I say that Advance Wars Dual Strike is the best game ever made. Ever. Yes, there is this game and that game but for sheer depth, replayabilty and addictiveness nothing else really comes close. I lost my PSP on the plane to Bangkok last Christmas which is a lesson to anyone thinking it is a good idea to get pissed up in the free bar in business class – there is a downside mine being that my broken PSP is now in the hands of some poor air stewardess and her family. Fair play to them and that broken piece of shit. Enjoy. Anyway, being as I was now gameless I had few options open to me in the ‘’portable gaming’’ stakes – was it to be another PSP or back to the DS that I had run down on these pages little under a year ago? Well, seeing as my main criteria was PORTABLE gaming then there was really only one choice – a DS. Say what you like about the graphics and games when it comes to practicality and portability then DS is the only choice. My PSP broke after too much travel because the widdle drive cannot take any kind of stick and had bust and the more I think about it the more I can see the PSP is a rushed prototype that I am sure will be much better than the first incarnation once the PSP2 is launched in the future. Also, in my defence I did have the original DS and the new model is very sexy and small and so damn practical. All this plus the ability to zipped .nds files from the interweb via the R4 card. Lovely jubbly. By the way the PSP is the same price as DS here so there were no financial constraints here only gaming and practical reasons for the purchase. (more…)

Thailand is ace

Monday, April 9th, 2007


Easter here in honkers so any excuse to get out of the city was, as always, taken. For a change we flew back to Thailand and I left for the airport straight from work on Tuesday such was my desperation to get away. We flew out with Emirates from an unusually quiet Hong Kong airport. The Flight was probably only 10% full so plenty of space to stretch out and out and observe the savory looking passengers on the flight with us. Landed Wednesday morning and the heat experienced simply walking from the plan at that time of the night was incredibly hot. We were up early the next day for the two hour drive from Bangkok to Hua Hin and then to the hotel and the beach.