Archive for October, 2006

My Passage To India

Monday, October 30th, 2006


India eh? What a crazy place it is. Went for a few days this week on business and I have to say it’s as mad as a spoon. I travelled to Hyderabad which is on the same latitude as Bangkok so therefore of a similar heat and climate to that part of Thailand. Hyderabad airport is a thing of great beauty and not unlike Southend airport except without computers and any renovation since 1962. It was also good to see that the Indians still rock the Hillman – one of many signs of a colonial influence. Speaking of driving it is, as Dane Bowers might say, another level. The only concept that is vaguely adhered to is the notion of the road being split into two lanes with cars travelling in two directions at some point. Apart from that you can drive how you wish. Need to pull out in front of a line of moving traffic? Sure, no problem, just make sure you honk your horn. Need to overtake over take a car overtaking another car on a bend in the road? Hey, just do it.


The Day The Music Died

Saturday, October 28th, 2006



When I was a boy and all this was hills I used to go a technical college in Essex. It was a college that taught fellow chavs how to become mechanics, beauticians, electricians and, er, fine artists. The college was for those dummies that couldn’t get into the sixth form across the road and so it focused on “vocational” activities as opposed to the more cerebral pursuits over the way. As I was studying fine art I was surrounded by a better class of scumbag and one of them sticks in my mind – Steven Bent. Steve was a fat lad who was sweaty and annoying and was obviously a virgin but then so were most of us however the thing that made Bent stick in the mind was his penchant for rock and roll. He was Mr Freakin’ Rock and Roll. Every day he would dress in his Kiss/ACDC/Skid Row t-shirts with a matching bandana. I shit you not. As you can imagine me and Steve didn’t get on and we would openly sneer at each other with him in his Axl Rose waistcoat and me in my Fear of a Black Planet T-Shirt. We would exchange thinly veiled digs at each other but for me it was all too easy. What fat Steve didn’t know was that his music was dead in the water. The t-shirt he wore was celebrating some old rock dream that died many years earlier and the groups currently flogging the dead horse of poodle rock were just going through the motions so that the Steve’s of this world had something to cling to all the while throwing money at pointless merchandise and album after album. His music was corporate and endorsed by the establishment as an acceptable form of rebellion but was now dead and repetitive and predictable. In short it was dead with its soul ripped out by the man and sold back to itself.


Saturday, it’s a Saturday, it’s a Saturday…

Saturday, October 14th, 2006


My life in Hong Kong is totally different compared to London. Take this typical Saturday morning as an example. Saturday moning. Woke up and put on Sky news on the TV so I could get the latest news about devil dogs, mad muslims and Ian Huntely. Made a cup of tea using my favourite M&S teabags. Up showered and down to Starbucks for a Coffee and a read of the papers. Caught the underground to the shops and had a look in Zara got a sandwhich from prêt a Manger before heading to HMV and buying some Alexie Sayle and Big Train DVD’s . Walked home to my flat and logged onto the BBC site to see what has changed in the world since I’ve been out. Same old same old. Had a quick visit to Fitness First to pay for the onslaught of beer that would hit my body that evening. Called friends to make arrangements to watch the Spurs match on TV in the juicer. As you can see it’s all changed but I’ll cope somehow.

Ban This Filth

Sunday, October 8th, 2006


Men eh? It’s all sex, sex, sex. As a man I sometimes feel ashamed of my gender and its constant preoccupation with chasing women and looking at dirty pictures. Speaking of pornography it is my considered opinion that the whole thing is distasteful in the extreme with its sick portrayal of the fairer sex and it must not be allowed anymore. I agree 100% with those brave women waging a war on shops that stock filthy magazines and I hope that when my children are born there will be no dirty books or videos and it can only be a matter of time until Bono does something about this. Since moving to Hong Kong I have found, to my absolute horror, that there is even pornography in this city and words cannot describe my disappointment. I even heard this story about this guy who subscribed to one of three adult channels that are available on cable here. I know its sick so please stop reading now if you are of a nervous disposition.



Dog with Fleas

Wednesday, October 4th, 2006



No one likes a smart arse but come on, I told you so. Way back in June I wrote how the A380 is a dog with fleas and it was not going to be delivered on time. And you know what? It’s going to be at least another year. I wonder how Singapore Air are feeling now as they have plastered Heathrow with signs proudly claiming that you’ll be flying one next month. November 2006 they said. Unfortunately it’s going to be more like 2007 at the earliest and even then it will be delayed again. So what’s the deal this time? Not much only the fact that the wiring is completely useless and the whole thing has to be re-designed. Still, at least on board you’ll have as many shops and bars as you can handle which should alleviate the worry you may experience as the power cuts out somewhere over the Atlantic.